i think my mom watched the whole time
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
