I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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