so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
