I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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