pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
