My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
