Even the bartender felt bad for me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
