I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize