sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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