He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
