I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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