it hurts more in the daytime
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
