that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
