I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Will exercising make me less horny?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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