I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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