I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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