That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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