I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
