did you get engaged???
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
