so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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