Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
