just tell him i said nine months
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
