There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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