i was rollin on her like bob the builder
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
