Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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