And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who died my cat blue again?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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