Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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