She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize