I haven't been this sober since birth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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