I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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