my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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