wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
