i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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