Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
