So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
