when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
