what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
