Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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