hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
