take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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