Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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