Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
