Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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