It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
