Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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