Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize