I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
