Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
