my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize