I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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