I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
