But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There r osticjed everywhere
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
