His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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