I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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