Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
