i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
