did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
