She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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