Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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